Is being nice an act of kindness ?

I was on my way to dreamland , until a tweet I saw from John Piper gave me a blow in the head. You could follow him in twitter at @JohnPiper. Here's that tweet :

"Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness." Psalm 141:5 So kindness and tenderness are not the same.

Why did this tweet gave me such an effect ? I am a genuine phlegmatic, a.k.a  peace lover. I am doing quite a good job there, even close to a fanatic, if I have to grade myself. I would give all ends to preserve peace. This is not exaggerating, I would gladly give myself as a sacrifice to calm a conflict involving myself. Prove ? Well some time ago, all the newly graduates for Chemical Engineering major were gathered by the study program chair to give critics and inputs. After the session ended, I met with my research supervisor and told him about the session. This is what he responded to :

"Bisa toh kamu Hans ngritik gitu? Kamu gak tegaan begitu."
"Hans can you really give a critic ? I see you incapable of doing so, you are too nice. "

I thought for a while, and indeed I did not give any harsh comment in the session. Although I find it hard to distinguish the reason to my action were ignorance or being nice (I have both properties as a phlegmatic) , the purpose -which I unconsciously create- is to just give the atmosphere the peace it deserves. "The session have been conducted for a long time, the people before me have made my points, for the sake of not wasting anyone's time I will just say a quick comment." This behavior might truly create peace for a short term, but is a seed for chaos in the long run. 

It is like letting a crumbling airplane full of busy passengers wanting to take off. The passengers were not in the light about the plane conditions, they just want to get to their destinations as fast as they can. What should we do for the passengers sake? The right decision in this case, would be to delay the flight for a maintenance or change vehicle. Some would complaint, and even call us names for saving their asses. That is temporary chaos, but in the long run they will eventually came to the truth and thanking us. 

Doing what others want is not kindness, it is even far from love. It is an act of ignorance, not caring. I must be getting old now, because now I see discipline as an act of love. It is so much better to hurt the one we love now, rather than letting them suffer at a later time. Stop following our heart so much, use that brain for a change. Men, make a girl cry now with the truth rather than constantly giving fake consolation. That is kindness. 

Si vis pacem, para bellum. - If you want peace, prepare for war. 

A Lesson from Wealth

First of all, I want to explain my reason for choosing the word 'wealth' at the title. While I see many people -especially those books at a certain foreign bookstore- defining success as having a wealthy pocket, I disagree.  I do not think a successful person necessarily need to have a multibillion business empire. Success is as simple as a housewife who raise her child to be a man/woman of good values and character. She is a successful housewife, and thus a successful person. Wealth on the other hand, is a completely different subject to discuss (at least for me). Well lets not take my word for it, because 4 years in engineering had taught me to always cite from a reliable source! According to Oxford Dictionaries Online, success can be defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Read again my opinion, and you'll notice wealth is not my life purpose :). 

The topic, however, is very interesting that I want to blog it. I had the inspiration when I was randomly looking at Indonesia's Top 40 richest person in Forbes. You can look it up yourself here. Initially, my goal of clicking the page was to find out who is in charge at what company. Yet the stories and traits I found is indeed alluring. I have yet to look at the stories for all 40 people, but I have looked at some of them and came with a certain similarity between them. Below, I choose to cover some of the characters short life stories. 

1. Eka Tjipta Widjaja

Mr Eka Tjipta (Courtesy of The Straits Times © Singapore Press Holdings Ltd.)

Mr. Eka is an immigrant from China, and have started working since the age of 9. He barely graduated from elementary school, because of Japan invasion at the time. His economy was very tight at that moment, but even amongst the difficulties he faced he managed to develop a "concept" of door to door selling. He sold stuffs such as biscuits from his parents' store by using bicycle. He faced many difficulties in his early years, but he stand by it because of a principle. 

"We can face any hardships that might arise, as long as we have the will to fight. We must remain persevere every time faced with difficulties, and always be wise in spending the pennies we earn."

Today he is the owner of Sinar Mas Group and holds an asset of USD 7,7 Billion. Mr. Eka currently ranks #2 in Indonesia Richest Man. 

2. Djoko Susanto

Mr. Djoko Susanto (Courtesy of www.eciputra.com)

In his young days, Mr. Djoko Susanto worked at his parents store located in Jakarta. He dropped out of high school when he was 17. The store was not what you would call lively, because it only sold food. It seems food only store was not very consumer-attracting. Young Djoko thought that if things were to go like this everyday, the store would go bankrupt. He decided to change the store concept from food to cigarette store. His "hunch" was right, this made the store gained new customers from smokers to wholesale seller. It tuns out his new idea not only bring a great portion of profit, but also the interest of Mr. Putera Sampoerna, who had the largest national cigarette business at the time. They formed a joint store named "Alfa Toko Gudang Rabat" and this was the root of todays Alfamart. Even though their joint business must be separated later on, Mr. Djoko continue managing the store until it became todays very big chain of convenience store. 

Todays Alfamart franchise have 6.000 stores nationwide -if not more- and this made Mr. Djoko Susanto the #20 Richest Man in Indonesia. His asset, as Forbes count in March 2013 is worth USD 1,6 Billion.

Thoughts 

I will not question their orientation of money. But aside from the justification of selling cigarette, I find their journey very inspiring. How often is it that we've seen people giving up to their situation? Making up weaknesses as their shield to protect from the ever judging eyes of people ? 

"I am poor and uneducated, I can't find a decent job, I'll just blame the government for not establishing a good work opportunity for me." I hope I'm wrong, but I think there are TOO MANY people out there in Indonesia living with these thought. As easy pointing the finger out to someone else is, blaming another will not get us anywhere.

Mr. Eka Tjipta said, we should never surrender to problem. Stay calm, calculate all the resources at hand, play them well, and the most important is to stop being consumptive! Save your income for that dream apartment, not spend it instantly for an iPhone 5. 

Perseverance is enough for some cases, but what if we're trying hard at the wrong road, the wrong business, the wrong career? That's the lesson from entrepreneur Djoko Santoso. Take that risk of changing your pace, it might change our life completely. Analyze our situation, make that big decision. Trust me on this:  Failure is better than standing still. 

Be careful if you think you stand, cause you just might be sinking. - Casting Crowns

Source :

http://www.tempo.co/read/news/2011/11/26/089368569/Kisah-Joko-Alfamart-Susanto-Si-Miliarder-Baru
www.ekatjiptafoundation.org
www.forbes.com
www.eciputra.com