You know that worried feeling we get when you look around and everybody seems to be moving to their desired life and you are only sitting here confused? That's exactly the spot I am right now. I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do with my life at this point of time. There. I said it. A stupid guy travelling 5 hours flight away from his home just to wonder the same question in a different timezone.
Well okay maybe i lied a little there. The truth is, I have too many things I want to try doing in my life. I want to become an environmental consultant. I want to become a process engineer. I want to be a drilling engineer in a strange country. I want to be a management consultant with a chemical engineering expertise. I want to take a Phd in European country. I want to be a researcher in a foreign country. I want to be a technopreneur promoting a new technology in Indonesia. The list may go on if I keep imagining, but lets just cut it there. The sad thing is, I could not possibly try all of them in this lifetime. So the real question : Which path should I take ?
Should I choose the one I enjoy the most? Well I think every path has their own fun, so thats not doable. Should I send out massive application to most of them and see the result? Sounds stupid. "If you stand for everything, you will fall for anything" some quote in the web told me. Passion? I am passionate for all of them. Kind of. So what ? Which one? What if I take this one and that one is more interesting? What if this? What if that? If you who are reading this is having the same kind of confusion about your future, you are in good company!
So.. like how?
Then I remember.
To the time when I seem to be paralysed by an evil spirit.
To the time when I had a very chronic stomach problem that made me cannot even finish any meal served before me.
To the time when I had a severe measles a couple days away from VERY IMPORTANT graduation exams.
Never in any of those times has He failed my cry for help. During those urgent times, his help came at the perfect time.
When I was paralysed and I cried for help, his help came right away. Soothingly freeing my body through a mysterious gospel song suddenly playing out of nowhere.
When I had that stomach problem, and I wondered can I survive this disease later in my master studies abroad. Yet his healing comes at the right time. I eat so much I gained a few kilograms now.
When that measles disabled me completely from studying for the last 5 days before my graduation exam. Even thinking clearly was very hard to do because of the pain I was having. I eventually gave up trying to study and just focused on resting and praying. Thus all the pain went away hours before the exam started. I even got an A. It wasn't me, it was clearly Him. He made my mind so clear that I can get the answers so easily during the most important test of my bachelor degree.
His help and answer will definitely come at the perfect time. I think the answer I am looking for, is just to stay calm and wait. The right time will definitely come where the path will be given to me. The path might not be the one listed in my list, but the bible says
"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails" - Proverbs 19:21 [NIV]Keep the faith !
"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21 [NIV]
