A Simple Pick Up Ride

So today after Danish class, I was just minding my own business walking to the bus stop as fast as I could since I need to be on time. But just probably 2 minutes before I got there, a car stopped by right beside me, it turns out to be my friend from Danish class. She did say she was gonna be picked up by her (i think) boyfriend by car, so I went out by myself (we usually would walk together to the bus stop).

Since it seems they were going into the same direction, I ended up being dropped right in front of my house tonight. Usually I would take 50 minutes using public transports, but tonight its only 15 minutes! I felt so happy and grateful to those two! It was a very ordinary thing to do, I mean this thing sometimes happens to me during my bachelor studies (well usually it's motorcycle). But really its a simple gesture that really made my day.

Then after arriving home I kinda remembered how bad I was at helping people I don't really know. Not long ago, I was in Jakarta Central Park Mall with my mom & dad buying some winter clothes. The thought came that we should go to the mall next door to buy some thermal clothes. After wandering around, my mom kinda met her friend out of nowhere and chatted for like 15 minutes or something. Afterwards she told me that her friends (and apparently 2 of her children) are gonna be tagging along going to the next door mall. Now at this point, this is how my brain works :

1. Introversion kicks in, reject meeting with a group of new people (and inside one car? Duh..) uncomfortably.
2. Our car can fit only 5 people, while now we are 6 peoples = not gonna be enough place.
3. My dad already has some thermal clothes from another brand, I think that would be enough.

And then its like suddenly "Aha!, I'll use excuse number 3". I told them that we already have the thermal suits so there is no need to buy another one. I lied, I should have bought one with a size fitting my body cause my dad's are gonna be one size bigger. Then I insisted that there really was no need for us to go to the next mall, so we parted ways with my mom's friends. I felt bad, but then I feel  like that's a necessary thing to do.

Back to present moment,  NOWW I THINK  I AM AN ANNOYING SCUMBAG. Introversion has pushed me to close any doors that can lead to helping others that I do not know and that sucks. I don't really deserve a pick-up ride (and I don't intent to get any). Its not really necessary to get that pick-up ride tonight, I mean the usual 50 minutes travel was acceptable. What I didn't realise was how a help can really make someone happy. My mom's friend probably doesn't really need that ride, they can take a taxi ride for a very cheap price anyways(they were carrying a lot of groceries, kinda made me felt worse).

A simple helping gesture can really makes a great day for those that we helped. That's the lesson I learned tonight. I do hope it will stick on to me so close that I would never ever reject an opportunity like that again.

Welcome! You know who you are.

Ah, if you're reading this because of a certain postcard, then this post is for you. Some weeks ago someone told me she doesn't know anything about me. So therefore I gave that someone a link to this blog. This place is really my sanctuary when all the curtains are closed and the loud world volume has been turned down. This is the place where I share things not even my close friends know of. So, feel free and browse around ! 

Against Lust

Ah today I got into the word and found this amazing writing of the Apostle Paul in Philippians 3 : 7 - 10.

7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,

Such beautiful words, and I won't lie, little by little everything else seems worthless compared to the joy of having Him ruling in my heart. Compared to that joy, it seems the pleasures of porn, sex, wealth, and even position seems.. tasteless. 

I remember a while back I asked my mentor "I have this addiction to porn, how do I overcome this ?" He said just shrug it off and focus to Christ. Cause the more you love Him, my love for these pleasures will get overcomed. Tonight and for the past weeks, I think I know how that felt. Loving God and having His presence is so peaceful I don't have room for those things anymore. And even when the peace was gone, it.. just doesn't feels like worth it to have this short-term pleasure. Compared to the joy I have in my heart, even sex falls short and tastes bland. Yes it is still tasty, but not as tasty as it used to be. When I have tasted the living water, everything just falls short in comparison. I guess this is truly the work of the Holy Spirit and Christ. His regeneration is indeed.. healing. 

Friends if any of you are fighting this lust, than my advice is to serve the Lord. Wait you don't feel worthy ? Actually, you were never worthy. It is only by grace and His mercy that you received this gift of salvation. No matter how dirty, just run to Him. Whenever you fall, go cry to Him. Check yourself, what baggage do you still have in your heart? Let Him take control. Let go of those holding your heart. Because the greatest feeling I have ever felt is always when I surrender to Him. When I go to Him to kneel, cry, and let Him do His job.